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SND Parent Trainings Social Skills

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SND Parent Training & Networking #1: Social Skills & Knowing Your Child's Social/Emotional Needs. Debbie Andries, Curriculum Specialist & Wendy Stickley, Speech & Language Pathologist.

Show Transcript

good to go and we're going to talk about social field today and we'll talk about it great so I just want to review on our agenda and we're going to try to touch on we're going to just talk about what are social skills Michael situation that we like to address and I work with our students on and some of the social skills themselves and other strategy strategy we use is call the Keith pack or another friend called it peace walk but they're the same thing and we also use a program called circles to talk about different levels of social relationships so I think we'll go ahead and start what are social skills in general first of all and we need to remember that Captain skills from different environment children don't have adequate social skills I'm at risk for a variety of things isolation from their peers and family emotional and behavior problems and academic underachievement cuz the social skills will impact the next as well there are five basic beliefs of social skills individual differences the child isn't showing that they're interested in having a relationship with her friends or peers that doesn't mean I don't want to it just means they don't know how to do it we all are human we all kind of want that connection matter what kind of disabilities they have a connection it just may be demonstrated differently if we want children and adolescents to be successfully socially and sometimes I have to teach them the skills to write typically we will pick up those skills naturally but our ability to adapt to their environment different social skills and different environments and we change our social skills depending on the environment and the people within our environment social interaction skills are not the same thing or not a clue academic skills we can have a student that is very high in academics and very low in social skills and everything in our lives impact work they will impact our family relations what's the weather in packed everyday life often we are trying to encourage social interaction skills are social skills learned behavior that enables a person to interact with others and ways to get a positive response so we're trying to figure out how to get a positive response for to avoid a negative response and we all these underpinning social skills figure that out and often they are not directly taught but we know so I know that if I see someone's facial expression that I may need to adjust how I'm talking to you are you attending do I need to change my I think I know all that so your nonverbal communication and if the student isn't aware of those kind of facial expressions and nonverbal communication then they may not understand that they have to adjust their communication and the circus go to connect with you and then again I think I had two people and cultural factors as well and that's something we need to remember as far as we are in a different culture and so some of the social skills are a little different on some of the social rules are a little different one example is walking through to people when they are talking signing is not messy barely considered rude it's but for walking between two people talking spoken English that would be rude so those are different rules related to the culture so it's something for us to kind of remember and and teachers are so so no matter for sitting in the class just attending to the teacher or four at church or four of their family during Thanksgiving how are parts of our social setting jobs jobs typically are not lost due to the end of doing the job because of inadequate social skills and an adequate cases Scouts has nothing to do with about how they work that's the same for everybody so that's the same for children and adults with a disability and that the same for children and adults without any disabilities if you cannot socially act appropriate you're going to lose your job whether you're expert at your job or not there are various Engineers Engineers that they can't figure out interact in the office space along with their peers they're not going to keep her job so it doesn't matter how good they are so it's something to keep in mind and it's important it is compensate for lack of social confidence there's nothing to help them with technology or a communication device to communicate there is no social assistive technology to help them they can use the completion pictures communication book and the iPads are communication apps to use for communication and then he says skills in a social situation but there's no assistive technology for social primary determinant for success and academic your life in general so I was curious if you guys can think of any social skills that you feel like they're important that are obvious to you guys that you see in your children or in your daily life taking her taking turn that's very important if we don't know how to take turns or we're not going to be able to be successful and playing at 5 years old or having a conversation at 20 30 years old 60 years old we cannot be successful if we don't know how to take turns for adults we might have other adults that modify for us they're only going to modify to some point and then they're going to be done because you're not taking turns with him overbearing and they haven't figured out to turn taking rules so yeah that's definitely one thing I think of any other social skills that might impact yeah screening people we work on all the time so just a simple scale is saying hello how are you and knowing when to stop the Greek and move on and that we could have we have something that will continue to repeat and say the greeting over and over and over again that's not helpful X good we may have to move on those are things that we have to implement and teach our students so it's very specific instruction on how to greet and practicing it with all variety of people so when you're walking down or hollinghurst someone stops you and says hello how are you mango Thrones social initiation skills on what do you see at home at school everyday life how to join other people having a conversation other people I have two children playing and I want to join how to join with airplanes with two children are playing with a car I want to play with a car how do I do that that's actually a pretty complex bill and we have to teach all children so typically we say he just asked or they'll seat no watch other people or children that are struggling with disabilities we have to teach them specifically how to join in and how to read their peers and be respectful of their peers but then how to be successful to join in activate is actually very hard skill to join into negativity and a conversation so when we get older when our students become a little older fourth grade fifth grade we start talking about how do you join in a conversation that's already occurring and that's a hard skill and we will play Asian asking questions on a lot of her students struggle with communication skills language skills on their behind and their language skills and it's asking questions is a very hard skill important to continue a conversation because if you don't ask any questions then someone's talking at you or your talking at them so it's kind of helps reinforce that turn taking back and forth which is actually the social interaction and then joining a conversation with two more people I think I had talked about that and then how do I ask for help that's a social skill that's how do I do it appropriately and how do I get what I need and then crazy Heather's you had mentioned that Telly and didn't sitting proper timing was social initiation who I'm talking to someone else and I look like I'm engrossed in a conversation that student has to figure out that I'm engrossed in a conversation and it's not the turn up and say Hi how are you say after weight and sometimes were very specific with him we're like okay if they don't make eye contact with you you just have to keep going and maybe they can listen to agree and have a social interacting with you so that's definitely a skill that we work on ourselves to others turns into one-sided and then we have to electrical Peter kind of skills and social skills as well can determine where the student is lacking skills and we want to help help them Master that's social skill set a goal and then we'll teach it and we'll take it also for granted thinking about the sets white of eye contact when someone comes up so that means you know they're there how do we teach directly to the students to recognize that I contact struggling with on knowing and interpreting anybody language okay so if we have a student that made have it may be on the autism spectrum disorder may not be able to interpret those facial expression body language and we have to teach them to look for these specific count to 10 and then initiate something that will work on with our kids we do that during a play situation model model model model model and practice and role play and practice and role play and give them prompt sometimes for explicitly tell them exactly what they need they sometimes it may be just pointing it just depends on the student and how much what the level of prompt is necessary for them to be successful I'll show them videos of the correct so they know what they're aiming for and then we'll video them doing the correct scale so then they can see them being successful and then we reinforce that we gave them successful at showing the social skill that were looking for the natural reinforcer if they get that interaction but we will specifically reinforce them if they needed it but the interaction itself is typically reinforcement generalize generalize generalize we spend the entire school all the way to 22 generalizing they go to ask from help from family to generalize the skills that were hang on and school how can you guys do that at home if you know you meet cousins or family during holidays that's a really good time to do it example right now working on how to ask to join in and share how to share toy full this is the perfect time for those kids when they're with other children and their family to practice those skills outside of school style that's something that we can help you guys we can give you the support that we use at school and you can take those supports home and use them those at home and that's a whole new skill because it's a different environment so I'll have to practice it in a different environment can you think of something else. And 51st development saladino's social you have to be with him in like just talking about going through all of this cool activities to make language to it that time okay we're ready okay okay sorry about that we're back I guess I can just review what you guys could ask social interaction and she would give an example of I'm her son really likes to like less than example of something is to stack of dominoes and knock them over where they in a row where they knock over so I talked about how practicing return lining up the Domino's so when the student or the child puts one Domino down in and they don't put the next one each have a pilot Domino's you're working together to create something that is beginning of social interaction parent to mention that the child really enjoys of visually looking at like the litter in the water and so on and we talked about how you could make those things yourself out of water bottle glitter glitter and some water and then have different ones that you trade him and take turns at the at the beginning of the social skills checking in with you counting 1 2 3 kind of full enjoyment I'm knocking over the Domino's Dimensions like the thinkery which is as creative children's play place here in Austin and it's a good place to go and then to have interactions with the trick to make sure we're interacting and not letting a child to see buy and sell by themselves when they're all alone and isolation you want to make sure there's interaction and talking about things that are happening in joining other children to play with the different toy teaching them how to join answer there are you trying to get to each activity weight scale that you will need to know how to do I think that was it was that pretty much it another social skills and to address here and school is it typically group rule never really were probably when we were in a big group but I tend to everybody that would be taking turns we have to raise our hands were not all talking over each other we would be checking in with everybody looking around to see how everybody felt really aware going on and we have all these underlying rules that we didn't even know where rules in our had and we try to teach our children specifically these rules so they can learn how to function within a group we try to set very clear boundaries and irritations of what's expected within the groove and we also talked about introductions when you first meet someone and when you already know so sometimes skills talk to us again and again we already know who you are at least match knows we don't need to be introduced again so you introduce yourself one time introduce yourself again but when you meet someone do you introduce yourself and then that's one time and then an underpinning rule that we kind of all I wouldn't go up until of energy for cells again and again to the same person it would go to work with every day but that may be something that one of us are students wouldn't understand at first they're like this is the rules when you see someone the first time be careful on how we set up these rules so they work in all different situation there are formal groups like sitting in a class or informal group or playing cards with a group of other children playing videos when you're a teenager in a group with three four people playing video games we try to teach them that different rules apply to do The Chew ation what is your face look like are you attending are you paying attention in or checking in with other people on how they are feeling so if I'm in a group and I see someone should go in and check and see if they're okay cuz they're part of the group and where what kind of a team in so I need to check why that person is that's that I contact eye contact is hard with one-on-one icon tattoo and harder in a group cuz I'm I'm looking at all of you guys and checking-in how you feel and that's a skill that we need to actually teach smiling letting you know that I'm attending to you I'm not in my head those kind of thing and then personal space inappropriate touch so play times are students not quite aware of their personal space some of it has to do with social skills in general I could be a variety of reasons I understand that when I'm this close to you you're uncomfortable and then when they start getting you for the four-year-old cuz it's normal be next to you that clueless right based on their age level and their what acted for their age and was expected by their peers of the same age you know hugs we hug and everybody you know until we try to Pacific when you're allowed to know you're 15 now right now 15 not these other social skills and interactions that were appropriate at five or six a big challenge for me as a speech therapist is I don't want to over correct a little one sometimes I feel like we makes a little one act adult life and the reason I say that is because you don't want to teach a lesson and I'm always thinking about so for example I don't want a 4 year old to be sitting straight in their 60 attending at all time we ask for kids text citation and we want them to learn that and not have to change that skill later on so it's something I have to balance because I I want our kids to the kids but yet I don't want to harder for them wouldn't have to change the skill for then later on going back and forth be under your under a year old conversation so I spent a lot of time working on conversation so do the teachers one of our biggest things we work on hard scale and for all the social skills to appropriate so if I only about one topic I have a favorite topic over and over however that's not going to work all the time I mean that might work once but I need to know what my partner like to and that's hard to teach I mean I spent many of times where I talked about I know you like Mario I know you like Mario Kart but does this person over here just like Mario Kart and Civil Right. what they like and I'm like so what do you think we should talk to Joe about and that's a hard feel so they have to know what those people like and try to talk to them about that she loves to play with baby dolls and text my baby doll so I'll talk to Priscilla. Baby dolls but it's Mario Kart so I'll talk to Joe about Mario Kart so to understand the difference of the different interests person in your conversation and social environment cars the questions the commenting cuz you'll get one-sided conversations again facial expressions I think I've talked about that pretending you were paying attention return being able to look at the other person and change what you do it's really hard so if you cuz I'm talking about baby dolls and you like Mario Kart I'm asking you to think about what I like and then go back and change that's a lot of skills involved change it to match your partner but we practice and practice what to do with the older kids is practice how do you have a conversation with your boss how do you have a conversation with a co-worker and how does look different with a friend so you have three different kinds of relationships those conversations look very different your boss is not want to talk to you about Mario Kart well since your boss isn't going to want to talk to you about my car and if you talk to your boss up my apartment might lose your job if you keep doing it over and over because they don't want to hear about Mario Kart something I've been using and it's actually turned out pretty successful while we talk about what a conversation is half of my students in even know what conversation Matt and we'll start with that and so I talked about you going to conversation in the group or two or more people so we talked about that time is okay, can I have a conversation off of myself technically review the rules many a time so we're having a conversation I'm not giving you my contact and my shoulders looking at your body have I tapped your shoulder to get your attention so many times officer in role-play and wolf I'm like a successful or not and what do I need to do what's wrong with my body right here and I'll send the whole Lesson by body language here to have this conversation what do you do when I am different and literally my a lot of my friends will have remembered. hopefully and they will use them in the morning and tell me good afternoon for different situation and will spend time and some of them have to go over and over again and then how do you continue conversation you can ask questions you can inform you can tell someone about it and you can answer your question describe how you keep a conversation going and who we talked about that and then how do you get the conversation I just want. it was nice chatting with you. Broke up the conversation the other thing that I do you mind getting that Debbie another template my kids struggle with questions as I've told you many times so the first line as a greeting maika'i how are you different colors for the different people saying what the green is one person in blue the other person is very scripted conversation but it had helped other person we talked about how you feeling you're feeling good tired you're going fast in there how are you it's been helpful so I and then I have a PCS for answer the question so it's wears a question so where did you go this weekend can you answer it to copy each other's questions I think it was a skill that we all use all the time we don't even know we're doing it so when we come up to each other we go how was your weekend and you tell me it's the same question where can I buy why I haven't quite figured out a good question, question let's do the same question I'm trying to get across it and I'm not sure if it's starting to work it's it's been 3 years of practice to get the coffee the question so if I come up to them and say what's your favorite did I just ask you what's your favorite animal that's how you continue a conversation and I have the WHERE questions the who question and then the what do question and then I have the vending which is basically tonight's chat to you later so did you see how explicit I have been teaching the students to use in conversation questions and answers on their way a marker and then some of them I have to give pictures support in the questions that is there and then they are just practicing reading it back and forth with the picture support so it just depends on the student and how much support I need to give them how structured we are related to conversation cuz it's really a kind of a complex Gill friendship friendship is hard a lot of social skill that is part of social skills set alarm to work so why is it important to have friends friends any friends to play with and needs friends to expire on their world and their experiences and we want to be around other humans that's even a friendship is very important for Archie children as well as are adults and they really work on it friendship skills are things that help us make friends while friendship blockers are things that stop us from making friends you are responding to you and you come up until someone keeps coming up they don't like Mario and then I might come in there and said you know what yeah I can tell you really want to talk to that person so how do we do that since I moved please show them how to befriend we may find an activity like together where it doesn't require any communication or they can build that trust in that relationship are and will be very specific does require friendship typically just try to brainstorm ideas different ideas and roll play roleplay replace this is an example I think I was talking about it. for some of our younger kids 1st 2nd 3rd grade they don't really understand why we have these up in the room on in the play area if we have these tcs's can any teacher any student can grab them and pull them down if we want them to come up to the student another student and say come to share please so I mean often play area within each other what to do giving them a model support without doing it all our kids have been greatest hits starting to pick it up they over generalized I'm going through this skill first and then drop it back and be specific along with a book in a class one of my Elementary classes on who is working on sharing broke up or we can both play with two sets of trains switch how do you switch a toy so we are working on this this is the easiest for most of our students because they don't really want to share of a good way to prepare you still have your own stuff there but it's just Play-Doh or we're both sitting there doing sand or the kids come up to the same thing and will give them both toys to play with this and so they're playing next each other they're playing with the sand but they're not having to too much interaction they were okay look up in the classroom too and so when they're staring and we see will give him the support from the four please share and then we'll give him one of these to help them during that situation for you. to have it home too if you're going to be around other children just to remind them how to share so we can definitely I can get this to you guys cuz this is something we used in the class and then Elementary classes one of the Elementary classes see how far we break it down so I don't know if you thought about it we tell children share share the Neighbors start getting it we had to break it down specifically what you do to share what does share mean for shares a very abstract word it's not clear them so that's something we do I think I know what that was from because I think he's our white-on-white motions and the feelings of the people in your surroundings and social interactions we need to understand how I'm cuz I'm really grumpy and that's it that's the first thing is if I'm asking is how to share and they're having a really bad day but may not be the time to ask them to share but I am my friend and I go up to share may not be the time to really ask them to share too so kind of looking at them of how they feel are they good with that and to understand the different perspectives of people looking at their body language directions words and tone of voice I had many conversations with her students about tone of voice you have the signin that's it otherwise you're yelling at me and I've had to draw a box around their body where you can sign otherwise it screaming and and I don't like it just kind of shows you how explicit sometimes I have to be on the tone of voice she's very purple you don't know what you saying but she's owls and you know me I'm really having a hard time with that cuz you know I'm 55 and you're driving and hit it I mean how can I work with her to do this with you guys because he's probably she wanted to know how she can help her granddaughter because her granddaughter and she will use her voice show her emotions and how she's feeling and also to get attention right is that correct and if it's interesting thing which ones of us are hearing and which ones are dad I want to start working on how she can get your attention just the same way as she would get a deaf person's attention by tapping or you know, waiting to get their attention like that Bright Eyes you can't very loud screaming all the time I told you the two things is when they would come flashlight epic face vibrate so that would help Saddam Hussein whatever our parents so one of our parents just said dad say I had stand with their children that they had correlated a flashing light not in their eyes directly but just kind of a visual noise so they would understand how bothersome their voices was today hearing person that she would show them that and then the other one was the pager vibrating when they were vocalizing too loud to be fair caring individuals do hurt at times they're very overwhelming and it's it's the hard to handle if you're not used to it and so yeah I think it's something that can be worked on for sure glitter cases not to make it a battle we may want to talk about that a little more and figure out how to kind of times and places times like the car maybe the time that we expect it right cuz it's make the dangerous for you when those loud noises to kind of just startled and it's seizure so that maybe the time that we can start working on it. I was definitely weird she understands that boy I don't know if you've gotten that or not so we use that she understand that and then we can we can set up and show the picture of the car we can picture the picture of no show her the picture of the appropriate way to get your attention if something important for her to tell you you have your mirror so you can see her so I know when I should show my son the picture of silent but he doesn't really understand that that means no cuz I'll be loud because you stuff too I'm deaf and an Australian picture and I'll show him some but then he is really know what he's doing like with his voice and I like a Kelly's idea of using the flashing white maybe I'm going to take that parrot for your son with the feelings get him to understand when he vocalizes The Voice things picture and then laughing with the new voice when they start understanding that read muffin to oh yeah oh yeah yeah you're not the only one trust me we have to teach her students yeah so it's the good at home I am first, with play with the kids there's a handful of kids that are in their area and fix turn downstairs how to explain to a second interview. But it's cool he's has a problem with cooperating in your life they cannot be the lead and see how cooperative and compliant he'll be charge a lot of our kids like to be in charge and we let him be in charge cuz it's a great thing but that's where it gets hard as when you don't get to be the boss and so you have to follow are there people in the lead children are typically developing children fairly models at this point cuz they're all still working on that bright as you get older it just seems to be a different night and day we all do I don't even know we're doing it and we do it we all adjust pretty quickly and then modify for anybody in our world slamming the doors don't like that or leave in the cupboard open I could drive them crazy and they tell us over and over and over again we can eventually shut the cupboard door so we could just for other people for other children so that maybe the key and maybe something that you might want to try at home is to see if the other child they're going to they're going to go first see how well he takes it practice in different situations structured and expected and you can follow and they're very clear on this my turn it's your turn it's your turn it's very clear where as playing with the toy kind of people are in there playing with the cars it's a lot harder to share it's not as clear how do we swapped negotiate I want to go first and then you can go so definitely easier and a good place to work and start with B bring it to your house this weekend will be okay I'll be back tomorrow yeah I mean definitely and I think it's a great idea. students from the same class as if it's possible to meet outside of school and and and practice skills you guys are having a so you're meeting at McDonald's or maybe I McDonald's at somebody's house or something and you're doing and a board game well we can help support you with that we can make sure you have answers to help with that kind of walk through that kind of information on what we want to look for you want to have taking turns how do you know how is this student going to ask to get more something so it's something that works with a class that's great if it doesn't it doesn't have any Stephen frears fan you're going to meet with the neighborhood take me to Asian buffet iPhone but he also use this card and and do we have enough for him in that binder that might be something we need to look at you know you know what you could do that would help be helpful is to stay at one time and bring it to me they like to download videos can I get another way we can help you at home removing for the camera call Cydia modeling it correctly and then we'll have them watch it over and over again and identify what they see so we're sharing switching please go back one page on that one can ask them to identify what they see some feedback to minicamp runs on the way home it's almost like and I actually did video of her throwing a tantrum but she won't watch it so keep doing wrong when she's sitting quietly destroy the bad stuff is what we want this is what we want that girls wear when she speaks sitting in the way you would like her to sit in the car and and will show her that we can we can help support that we can match it up with the PCS you know definitely so anyways that we will use to help support social interactions turn on Payson everyone. Especially if the student is not doing don't need to give any idea but if it is an issue and I need a reminder without me telling him not to bite then I'll face to help us regulate our bodies and are our bodies during social interactions and like the one over there ignore about that you're ignoring them don't ignore them that's fine I'm tired Trina whatever you want to do to stop that interaction but you're not really permitted to ignore them after something to you again I just think it's important to talk about how the other people in your group or feeling so if a kid is playing in there crying like all their sad and alone and try to work through with this is just a way to communicate with them if the sign language isn't there or if they're just too overwhelmed to handle the sign language then we will use the pictures sorry students get caught up in like the :-) for happy they're doing a good job English thumbs down that's okay you can be sad they're they're supposed to tend to be happy because not as bad I'm saying so you really have to accept those emotions identify and label them but then what are we do you don't have to always be happy so it's really important except not label it at the negative emotional something with my son typically he's happy to check or some super good job other than a happy chair on the radio talking about that for parenting talking about you can be mad and not be mad at be mad you can be sad because when you're mad about that and then what do I do it'll be fine tomorrow I'll go get milk come up with a plan and kind of walk through that with your students with your child walk through what you going to do now what do I do Express that at all times but there's a way you can kind of have to down so I can make them and tomorrow I still put it on the calendar tomorrow I'm going to do mail if I can put it up there so they know what I'm talking about okay okay well it's fine mad okay what do I do to recover from being mad something happened which sometimes is why were mad right all the shooting in the scary things that are happening and the world and how to model going through the process of the emotion and feeling do different emotions that we do as humans energies that we are using and it's a step-by-step process to help students resolve conflict some of our older students are definitely isn't that is basically you're physically walking through step by step by step I thought it was pee very literal step by step by step process on how to resolve a conflict in recover from a complex in general it's always cancer and that support us we actually have our students go through every staff and will give them the language your son is one of the actors in our videos actually there's multiple format based on their students and what works it has a 1-2-3 or all the way to the end fans on each side whoever had the conflict like and it made me feel bad it can be as simple as that someone bumped into me and I thought they were mad at me or down it and pictures for tier 2 additional support symbols but they can choose from so they can lay it on the table or on the floor 4 through the process of conflict resolution I'm a natural conflict comes up the teacher will pull this out and I'll work through it like okay suppose this happens what kind of you know you're the person that said this is the person who deals with so they practice that helps with perspective-taking because it actually happened to you but then you're practicing okay what does that look like if it happens to someone else it happened to me how would I feel a lot of stuff in there that forgot the pizza expressing how I feel and it specifically has a communication to Bullseye feels so they have the language I feel and then even may have a choice board for how to feeling fat and then the set 3 is I want or I need this what do I need from the situation and then acknowledging the other person's feelings and wants and then brainstorming solution man for all that stuff is really good stats to takes and solve problems and solving problems are kind of dynamic and complicated so just kind of give structure to follow that pink remix they have to agree that they understand each other's perspectives right and find out when when the solution so we can all hope we can find a win-win directions for complex the brainstorming coming back and I'm thinking about different potential conflicts that may arise between just practicing role-playing insulin sorry a little awkward about I pretend I may not even understand tell Alex to go home and say this happened we worked it out but I'm still not I still don't feel good about it if you have conversations if it's didn't have a conversation with a teacher so that they can go back and read something that made him feel uncomfortable really awful and I'm still I still don't feel good about it to work on it so long as he keep coming back and seeing a recurring problem to clean it's not worth the argument I just want to say can you get this kind of thing it's a rainbow but it's supposed to go all the way around okay so keep that in your head little behind time we had to take a little break things like that but this is something you can always check your teachers about and or the school pretty effective we talked about levels of relationship and Talk touch and Trust to understand or social boundaries and two other people social boundaries are at the saying it's real text everything like Wendy said you know how comfortable people are around you how much people want to spend time with you and how your job how your boss you know it's not always about you know what you but how you can do it with other people in relationships we talked about how do we act so that how do you feel comfortable you have to feel comfortable so we start in the middle that's my private Circle is only big enough for one person to stand on and we literally have the kids stand on it and you are you a little bit that's pretty close to me I can hug you he's my bright ideas important person do you know what this is not the right one you have the right to have the right sorry I was on the phone I want to go with it psychology technical difficulties on Myers touch because of concrete we can talk about touching people delete the flight I thought I deleted for big families so we try to find ways to respectfully say you don't have to be but you have to be able to communicate that can and cannot deal with public so we have to talk a lot about privacy and privacy that very hard concept what is private mean so we have to do a lot very sensitive to changes over time but it happened sooner touching reasons for not touching talking a lot about what Wendy talk to people or go back sorry I'm sorry talkin internal thoughts I'm sorry it comes about you have to teach them that that's a private issue you can talk to someone you know like your mom or your dad we have to take the meds beginning and ending conversations and respecting others this is really hard to some stuff you have to tell hurt if you're getting hurt if there's some kind of danger we have to be we have to act as respectfully and generalized is possible that we really have to find ways to communicate to the kids what is safe and unsafe and in their private world and it has to be able to share that with someone that they can trust basically we try to focus on safety and feeling comfortable do you feel safe and comfortable with this person when you're around then or does it feel weird is it strange to some to something hurtful you know we have to use emotions that they can understand because trust just was trust me the hardest part is when we have students can't trust the people in their lives and only work with our counselors and the other people who might have taken responsibility if that's something that you can just sort of engender that overall emotions yes you are safe with me it is okay we good together we're happy we are safe that is critical because the kids they don't understand it and truetrac the purple circle your family in your home whoever I love you your brother your sister exactly what you can and cannot do at school related boyfriends and girlfriends it's not like that boy over there you know whatever we really do a lot of discussion on that should I trust one another but does that make him in questions that we have to be very very careful of their safety you can talk to each other still love each other and you can depend on each other and depending on each if this isn't fair you know all of these have to go together so we we we change it every year and by the time I get in the high school they're doing a lot more of the kind of adults and what all of these things look like you maybe and we talked about that just because you know each other doesn't mean your friend can you may become friends then you may not be friends he knows things change over time so and in the family that changes over time sometimes your grandmother grandmother or your aunt about that a little bit how patch changes scarecrow have a different kind of touch there is a little bit more stuff to make him feel comfortable in the world and it's our people they can depend on but I better not walk in a classroom and have a fifteen-year-old sitting on it I mean that's just not okay teaching the kids that they also don't just walk up and sit on someone's lap that has changed when you were little that was okay now you're a big person Patrick set levels of touched it may not be typically age-appropriate if they have physical needs that need to be mad and someone has to help them we talk through that we don't want them to think that there are different rules for different I have to understand yeah this is what you're going to need help with and we'll be as respectful as possible so basically this goes through every level touch top tracks touch top and we go we have this we talked to Mom said yesterday at home you know if it happens and we can use that it's a real situation it's a little bit harder when we have to give them sort of made up scenarios for them to try to generalize and connect to that so the more real information we have them works. get requests from teachers and can you share Family Photos can you tell us a Thanksgiving dinner as much information as you if the teacher that's not what the teacher has to work with to help your child learn about those relationships that are happening level of relationship I had with any of these people there they have six kids total and uncle and a cousin I don't have those relationships information for the more we relationship that's fine we're going to have to move along because this time there's two different levels of people in the green circle come over on occasion and you know that you're not just going to be just wanting to know if you know that person is a lot of people in your life that you can eat I will support you like the next one okay to close friends what a close friend I have student to a girl I have no idea why are they your friends generalized off into an area that is completely you know so we have to make sure that they know it or whatever but you do things with their not your boyfriend Stephen Curry play with you hang around with so we really have to actually keep what close friends means your back whatever and that's okay you can share confidences with your close friends together laughing and joking around trust request you've been able to trust him over time next color search me know me I don't teach them everyday I don't see them everyday really all of the teachers are in the yellow circle close to that we are can I roll my role is not to be there close personal friends are always to be someone that they know that they can depend on and support card and gray but have to make sure that we are cutting me examples for getting social boundaries. The times I wanted to teach them I'm your teacher this is my role you know I will support you or whatever but I'm not your close friend and I'm not your relatives LOL because there is trust between students and their teacher so that's why we're kind of in that sort of Grey area because we do we do when our students to process and an orange or just people on campus have a housekeeper and maintenance workers cafeteria workers so we have to teach him those kind of boundaries to I can I use them every day they're here but they're not in your life and not part of any saying that you on a daily basis as far as our relationship goes okay I'm just go back to every relationship we talked about it self advocacy and mostly that's we want our children to know how do you stand up myself no matter what the relationship is with the other person if it's your close friend how do you stand up for yourself if they're doing something you don't like if it's someone you don't know how do you stand up for yourself and something you don't like we talked about bullying I talk a lot now about social media and cyber bullying because that's become a huge and a lot of that is really hard for a kids to wrap their heads around so it every relationship level we talked about how do you take care of yourself because they have to know how to take care of themselves no matter their with stranger we had two helpers firefighters nurses doctors people who have to take care of you chelation and I was just at strangers people you do not know that person on the bus just because they're signing this is really hard try to teach our kids about community helpers main people who have specific uniforms or I really try to teach our kiddos court appearance if someone comes up and says do you need help come with me you don't go with them doesn't matter you go to where you go to the front of the store you go to stay where you are until someone you know comes to find you but you don't just go off even if it's hard someone wearing a uniform comes up and says so anytime you have the opportunity to reinforce that please do because they know the answer but in the moment it's like yeah just keep going sorry I'm in an hour what time is it that's the program we try to structure everything around and we take all of those things when you talked about and build it in we had to go back and forth with that said that they support each other that are students are all learning about relationships and how to maintain them and what they mean all right for the peace path what grade you start using the students that they've gotten that we buy any specific to structure of the person identifying what happened I'm making an apology and accepting an apology as far as that goes at that point this is a little more extended with myself how did you feel he's so fat that you're not quite there yet but that's the goal okay thank you thank you

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